Recently I was having some problems with my laptop. I figured it was a quick fix (I soon found out otherwise, but we'll get to that). My battery wasn't holding any charge, and I had to play the at-home version of "Dirty Dancing" with my AC Adapter plug in order to get my laptop to even boot up.

Having taken IT courses, I knew that usually the simplest and most obvious answer is the most correct one. So to me, the most obvious answer was to purchase a new power adapter for my laptop. Right?

Err.. Right.

I went to my local CompUSA store and perused my selection. The Targus one's were ridiculously overpriced, and every other brand was sold out. It seems a lot of people were having the same problem.

And then sitting there, gleaming on the shelf, like a beam of light beckoning my consumer pirate ship to crash into the jagged rocks of underpriced goods, was a cheaper brand.

Had the brand been Siren, the above literary flagellation would've been really intelligent. Unfortunately, this company was called Kensington, so that overblown literary device was completely wasted. Oh well.

The Kensington 70 Watt AC Adapter was not only 20-30 bucks cheaper than the Targus, but it had a sleeker, ultra-skinny design that deemed it perfect for my consumer needs, seeing how I'm about as gentle with my computer equipment as the mongoloid brother of a hired farm-hand is with the farmer's daughter. For those of you who didn't catch that reference, then tell me about the rabbits. And if that's too vague, I'm referencing "Of Mice and Men" and you should re-take fifth grade English.

Unnecessary and angry diatribes against the readers of this blog aside, I checked with the store clerk to see if it was compatible, who checked it online, saw that it was indeed compatible with my brand of laptop, and quickly made my purchase.

I took my new power adapter home, excited to finally get my laptop up and running again so I could go back to my steady regiment of downloading pornog- err, writing poetry about how the starving of the children should be fed. I pulled the packaging apart and started to pick through the multiple tips, referencing the user's manual.

After about an hour of searching, I found that my EXACT model type was not supported.

I swallowed my pride, and using my roommate's computer went online to see if the manual was just lacking updated information.

And to my surprise, it was! Just like the clerk had pointed out before, I just needed to apply tip N9 to my adapter and all would be well. I rummaged through my bag of tips, only to find that no N9 tip was included in my purchase.

Well, damn.

I immediately called up customer support to request the tip. After waiting on hold for twenty minutes, I was connected to an operator. Based off of the man's accent (And I'm no racist, so don't get me wrong) I could tell he was somewhere in the Middle East. After a few language barriers had been broken, the operator informed me that I would be sent the required tip for my laptop.

And it would only cost me an additional ten dollars!

And it would arrive in 8-10 weeks!

I informed the man of my poetry-writing needs, and put emphasis on how important it was that I received it post-haste. And I could!

For an addition twenty dollars!

Suddenly, the Targus adapter seemed much less expensive.

After calling the man a certain number of names I won't repeat here for the sancity of my family name, I hung up, headed back to CompUSA to see if they had another Kensington power adapter, preferably with the bit that was SUPPOSED to be included with my kit.

That particular CompUSA just so happened to be sold out.

So I called two others. After being hung up on three times, and being treated rudely by an Armenian gentleman, I was told that, by some act of God, Kensington had supplied the entire state of California with only ONE Kensington power adapter.

So I returned my merchandise for a full refund, and decided that, before making any further purchases, find out if this was the actual solution for my laptop problem.

To my surprise, it turns out that the problem with my laptop was a short in my motherboard.

That was caused by my Targus power adapter I had bought prior to this.

A new motherboard would cost me somewhere in the area of $600.

To this day, I will only use an abbacus and an electric typewriter. In fact, this entry is online due to the fact that I sent it to a friend of mine who still uses computers via smoke signals.

To this date, Targus has not replied to any of my e-mails. Whenever I call the company, they ramble off how they are not responsible, even though their website states that if I can prove that their product damaged my laptop, they will replace it.

I have currently placed a Jihad on both companies, and plan on crashing my Razor scooter into their head offices later this September.

I miss my laptop sometimes.