Yes... the time passes quickly when it passes with the passivity of a quickly passing thing, doesn't it?

So far I've managed to do the following during my stay in California:

1.) I've gotten an apartment.

2.) I've worked off and on through a temp agency and gotten to meet a few celebrities (Dennis Franz asked me to validate his parking! SHIT THE BED!).

3.) I got hit by a car while walking to library. I didn't really get hit, I just got clipped by it. But it was doing one-hundred miles an hour (The speed limit in California), so I nearly died. But I didn't. So there.

4.) I got in a fist-fight with Kevin Spacey over a dollar that was lying in the middle of the road. The man can act, but fuck if he isn't frugal.

5.) I saw two sneak previews of movies.

6.) I lost my wallet.

7.) I befriended a flying hooker and a monkey.

8.) I found my wallet again.

9.) I wrote a porno.

10.) I ate some really bad fruit, which turned out to be some really good cheese.

11.) I lost my wallet again.

12.) I ran a betting pool on the presidential debates. Made a fortune (Bush couldn't debate his way out of a paper bag, I'm sorry).

13.) I found my wallet again.

14.) I discovered the cure for cancer. Kept it in my wallet.

15.) Lost my wallet and the cure for cancer.

16.) Danced like it was 2004 (Because it really was).

17.) Maxed out my parent's credit card on junk food and methadone.

18.) I found my wallet again! SQUEE!

19.) Almost met Doug Tenepal (The creator of Earthworm Jim).

20.) Your mom.

So all in all, things are going okay. Somebody broke into my goddamn car and stole my radio and some CD's. People have sent me money, but somehow it's never reached my mailbox. I recovered from getting hit by a car just in time to work a movie premiere (I'm not saying which one... mwahahahahaha).

Life is pretty neutral right now. I got my first rejection letter from a writing agency. I bought a pillow and a mattress to sleep on. I re-discovered my penis after losing some weight. The good seems to be balancing out the bad. So I can't complain. The only thing I can really say is:

You're gonna' rue the fucking day you crossed me, Kevin Spacey! RUUUUEEEEEEE!!!!!!

(hops onto his flying hooker and flies off into the night sky)