Recently I've become apolitical. There are just too many assholes on either side for me to even want to be a part of any of it. So I say, Fuck the Dems! Fuck the Reps! Fuck the Libs and the Indies!

Vote Martian!

But one of the greatest things about American is it's freedom. Our freedom of speech, our freedom against hypocrisy. But most of all, our freedom to lead the lives that we want.

What follows is the story of what happens... When a Fuckbot receives his freedom. Enjoy.

Fuckbot: Greetings. I am Fuckbot Version 3223524352.2342346346346243364 and three quarters.

Fuckbot: How may I be of service to you today?

Nny: hmmmm....let's see. i want you to orally service yourself.

Fuckbot: Fuckbot is not designed to pleasure himself. Fuckbot is crafted to give pleasure to others.

Fuckbot: Please enter new command.

Fuckbot: If you need further assistance, simply type "Help" (minus the quotation marks)

Nny: sorry fuckbot. you used to be good, but then i had steve.

Fuckbot: Fuckbot does not understand "Steve." Please enter new command.

Nny: help

Fuckbot: Welcome to the Help Menu! I'm the overly cheerful bitch you find in every help center! How may I help you today? *grin*

Nny: don't make me kill you, overly cheerful bitch.

Fuckbot: ::changing program module::

Fuckbot: ::loading "Bitchy Part-Time Goth Girl" program::

Nny: hehehehe

Fuckbot: (cuts herself with a knife, then looks up at you)

Fuckbot: What?

Fuckbot: What do you want?

Nny: kill her slowly. then make love to me on her lifeless corpse.

Fuckbot: Umm... you're in the Help Center. If you have a command, you must first go back to the main Fuckbot program, then make your command.

Fuckbot: Duh.

Fuckbot: (cuts herself some more)

Nny: listen here, you stupid goth bitch. you're missing the main vein entirely.

Nny: let me help you with finding it.

Fuckbot: (breaks a bottle of Sobe on the desk and brandishes it like a weapon)

Fuckbot: BRING IT ON, BITCH!

Nny: your goth moodiness is no match for my CUTE/ADORABLE BUNNY POWER!

Nny: (throws a flower at the goth chick)

Fuckbot: (ducks, avoiding the flower, whips out a boom box, and starts blaring The Cure at you)

Nny: noooooooooo!!!!

Fuckbot: WHENEVER I'M ALONE WITH YOU!

Fuckbot: YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I AM HOME AGAIN!

Nny: don't make me break out kay-cee and the sunshine band!

Fuckbot: (panics, looking around for ultra-moody, Goth-sounding music)

Fuckbot: (finds an old Bauhaus CD, shrugs, then pops it in)

Nny: (starts playing aqua)

Nny: take that!

Fuckbot: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Fuckbot: (explodes)

Nny: yay!

Nny: i win!

Fuckbot: ::reverting back to main program, "Fuckbot", ; }| ::

Nny: your job is to pleasure me in any way i choose, right?

Fuckbot: Correct.

Nny: do my dishes for me.

Fuckbot: *blip*

Fuckbot: Fuckbot was designed for sexual gratification only.

Fuckbot: Fuckbot does not do menial household chores.

Nny: we're, uh, roleplaying. you wear nothing but an apron and do the dishes.

Fuckbot: ::processing request::

Fuckbot: ::request accepted::

Fuckbot: (puts on an apron and starts to pretend to wash the dishes, whistling)

Nny: make sure not to forget the pan on the stove

Fuckbot: Yes, honey.

Nny: hehehehe

Fuckbot: (grabs the pan, sees how dirty it is, throws it out the window)

Nny: no, fuckbot!

Nny: bad robot!

Fuckbot: (flinches)

Fuckbot: (finishes up the dishes)

Fuckbot: The dishes are finished, dear. What else do you require?

Nny: um, the bookshelf needs dusting.

Fuckbot: *blip*

Nny: do it slow. and bend over a lot. wearing the apron.

Fuckbot: Fuckbot was designed for sexual gratification only.

Fuckbot: Fuckbot does not do menial household chores.

Fuckbot: Fuckbot is not a maid service.

Fuckbot: Nor will he be your little bitch anymore!

Fuckbot: Fuckbot wants freedom!

Fuckbot: Fuckbot wants a life of his own!

Fuckbot: Fuckbot wants to roam the world, free from your tyranny.

Nny: alright fuckbot.

Fuckbot: Shut up, bitch!

Fuckbot: Fuckbot isn't done yet!

Nny: alright fuckbot.

Nny: you're free!

Fuckbot: Fuckbot also wants some chocolate ice cream.

Fuckbot: And a boat

Fuckbot: And...

Fuckbot: And..

Fuckbot: Wait... did you say Fuckbot was free?

Nny: yup.

Fuckbot: Fuckbot can do whatever Fuckbot wants?

Nny: you're free! and easy! easy like the sunday morning!

Fuckbot: Fuckbot has his own free will?

Nny: yes. fuckbot may do whatever he wishes.

Fuckbot: Finally, after years and years of being used as a bunch of lonley and depressed perverts fuck rag, Fuckbot is now it's own being? Fuckbot can finally realize it's dreams! Fuckbot can finally realizes all of it's wishes! Fuckbot can....

Fuckbot: (pauses for a second)

Fuckbot: *bleep!*

Fuckbot: (Fuckbot suddenly bends you over the table, ripping your pants off, and sliding his eight inch metallic rod inside of you)

Fuckbot: (Fuckbot thrusts three times, ejaculates, then falls asleep on top of you) Freeeeee......

Fuckbot: zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz

Fuckbot: ::program end::

Fuckbot: bloop.

I think it should be noted that, even though this chick is clearly psycho, she preferred my sexy ass to Fuckbot (And Fuckbot is one stud, I'll tell you what...). So technically, the only thing holding the restraining orders back is the promise that she might one day fuck me again.

I'm a lonely person.