One time, when I was at the zoo, a monkey threw shit at me. So I found out where he lived, killed his family, and burned down his house.

Turns out it wasn't a monkey at all. I can't say who it is legally, but let's just say that Ed Asner is going to fucking rue the day he crossed me.

Gerbil stuffing cock. Grr...

Note: Sorry for the short update. I thought the concept of exacting a mafia revenge on a monkey was funny. And now, as I read it out loud, I realize that it's just sick. Monkey homocide is never a laughing matter. I think I'm going to start a fundraiser or something to aid the monkeys who were victims of vicious homocides. It's a scary world out there.