Look ma! It's an update!

My how the time flies when you're working three jobs, your mother has surgery, your social life becomes non-existant, and you barely have time in the day to take a shit let alone get onto the computer and write something down.

But I digress, as I usually end up doing.

A brilliant man once said, "A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." It seems most people take that sort of thing for granted these days. All they do is bitch and bitch and bitch about things that aren't really of any importance at all. And speaking of which:

Now I know that talk shows are pretty much a dead horse that has received multiple beatings, but here's the thing that gets me: They are still on the air. And here's something that gets me even more: The people who say "This shit is stupid" are also the people who avidly watch the show!!!

Stick with me, I'm getting to a point here... maybe...

Why is it that the things we hate so much we can recall from our memories so easy? I still know most of the lyrics from any Spice Girls song that was on the radio.

"If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, taking is too easy, but that's the way it issssss..."

The scary thing is I didn't look that up. I don't know how accurate that was, but I can bet that I was pretty damn close.

Now let me recite one of my favorite poems from memory:

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Well fuck me, I can't do it. It seems that the things we like so much are so difficult to remember.

Here's sort of the semi-point I was getting at with this: Does this happen to human beings? I mean... if some guy named Fred pisses you off, will you still remember him ten years down the road.

Of course you will. But you'll remember him as "That mutherfucker Fred."

So is the opposite true for nice people? People you like? Will they just as easily drift out of your mind for good? Lost in a sea of hazy dreams and forgotten memories.

I always tell people that I'm easily forgettable. And they always try to convince me that I'm not. I guess it's kind of nice that people would try to stroke my ego like that and everything, but at the same time... it's like they're calling me an asshole! WELL FUCK THEM! AND FUCK YOU! AND FUCK YOUR MOTHER! Wait... no... don't fuck your mother, that's not right. In fact, try to keep all of your fucking outside of the family. I'm talking to you, Arkansas.

I'm going to end this entry the same way I end a lot of my entries. I'm going to quote a friend. And the quote that I quote may not seem relevant to the rest of this entry, but let's face it: No part of this entry is relevant to the other part of the entry.

But if you dig a little deeper, you may see that there is a little meaning into what the quote is... and that maybe... not in the most obvious ways... maybe it is relevant.

"Finding out that your girlfriend has a dick is pretty bad. Finding out that that's the only thing you two have in common is a lot worse though."

Okay... maybe not that relevant.

On a side note, a person left this in my guestbook:

"I don't think taking Bush out of office will really solve many problems though. It might take more than that."

I'd just like to say that you're absolutely right. Just taking Bush out of the office won't solve many problems. It's just a start. Here's a few other things we need to do in order to get this nation back on it's feet:

1.) Elect a president with common sense... you know... somebody who knows what the fuck they are doing (Preferably somebody not easily influenced by their daddy's cronies).

2.) Our current government is run by corporations (And before you pull your "bullshit" card, do a little research first). We need to put the country back into the control of the people who are best suited to handle such a responsibility. I am, of course, talking about dolphins.

3.) While we're fixing the world hypothetically (Because this is my website and I can do whatever I want to as long as my mommy says it's all right), let's blow up a few of our states.... you know... clean the slate a little. A few of these states include: Arkansas (You had your chance, sister-fuckers), Tennesse, Kentucky, and 79% of the south (Florida is good to go, except for all of the retirement areas). The only drawback to this plan is that Maury Povich will see an 86% decline in both audience members and guests.

And as for your comment about me being an angry man: I had just sat on my balls before I had written what I said. You would be angry too.

Angry enough to kick a midget? I didn't say that, but I'll just stand here and nod slowly.

And now for the fake news:

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Propane Gas Tank Installer Sets New Landspeed Record

Pogo Stick Jumping Championship Ends in Freak Helicopter Accident

78% Say, "Not On My Face"

and lastly

God and the Devil To Appear on "Jerry Springer"; "Bitchin' Fights" Expected

Thank you everybody. The five o'clock show is completely different from the three o'clock show. Have a good night and don't forget to tip your waiter.

Now get the fuck out.