Yes, I'm back like a malignant tumor.

Where has old Steve-o been? Has he been travelling the world, and living a great adventure? Nope. Has he been seducing young women by luring them into his van with candy? Maybe. Has he been passed out in some gutter with a needle stick out of his arm?

More than likely.

No, bitches and dickheads (Which is New York-ese for ladies and gentlemen), I've been living like an introvert, only contacting those closest to me... meaning those with boobs. People seem to think I can just magically pull a diary entry out of my ass, which (For the most part) is true.

But as I've stated time and time again, I like to only put out the best of what I can do. If I'm unhappy with a diary entry, I'll toss that fucker out like a negro at a NRA meeting.

But I digress...

The world sure has become a shitty place to live in lately, hasn't it? Men are still dying over in Iraq for a cause that was supposedly obtained 6 months ago. Our nation's sports heroes are being slapped with sexual harassment suits quicker than you can say, "Kobe Bryant grabbing ass on a windy day." Bush.... is still in office.

Yes, the gradual decline of this country can only mean one thing: It's time that we took immediate action and started blaming somebody.

But who?

We can take the side of the leftists and blame the Christians. We can take the Christian Coalition's side and say that it's because we live in a world where moral standards are slipping away from us ("Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?" HELLOOOO?). Or we can take the conservatist point of view, and blame every other fucking country around us.

Personally, I blame ourselves.

As a nation, we take so much time picking out our own faults and then trying to find a scapegoat for them, that we never focus on what's important: How can we fucking fix this?

I mean, look at me! All I do is bitch about this shit on the Internet, and then sit on my lazy ass and hope somebody does something about it. Besides, this website is just an excuse for me to meet women! Do you think I give a fucking shit about this country? No! I don't! I gave up on the idea of the "Home of the brave" a long time ago. I'm just out to obtain the precious precious poontang!

I walk around and see people with "United We Stand." I watched a man get berrated because his skin was dark. It was the beginning of September for Christ's sakes! Maybe he had a tan! Besides, even if he was of Indiana descent, what makes you think he's a terrorist? Just because you're born Irish, does that automatically make you a drunk? Just because you're born Jewish, does that automatically make you a cheapscape? Just because you're born black, does that mean you have a gigantic penis!?!?!?

Well... most of my black friends think so.

But the point is, how can this guy be a trained terrorist? First of all, aren't the terrorist camps all in the Middle East? This guy was born in Wyoming!!! Besides, who trained the Taliban? Who provided funding for their operation?

Ohh yeah... the CIA. Oops. Try again.

America doesn't exist anymore. That concept is long dead. We should officially change the name of our United States to "Corporate America" because that rings a little truer, don't you think?

I think our forefathers had a pretty good idea. A place where we had a system of government to keep the people at peace, but also to represent the people. So my question is: Who represents the people anymore? Bush? Bush doesn't represent the people. Bush represents a man who is doing things, and then telling the people of America that it's in their best interest to agree with him. How many people were against this war? How many people had to die so Bush and his greedy Republican buddies could line their pockets with more oil money? How many Iraqi kids are dead because those men weren't happy with millions of dollars and they wanted billions?

"No taxation without representation." We've been getting ripped off for a long time, guys.... But the people have spoken. They've told the people in Congress and on Capitol Hill what they really want.

They hired the fucking Terminator.

I think there's a more symbolic reasoning behind this. For years, we've watch Ah-nold kill the bad guys on screen. He's fought for the good of the people, and he's always seen things through. I think people voted for him because... deep in their minds, that's what they thought he would do if put into a seat of power.

I think they're just going to be disappointed when they realize that he's just another governor. There are no more Terminators. There are no more Supermen.

A brilliant man predicted the decline of America. No... not Nostrildo-me with his "The Twin Brothers will collapse and my book sales will rise" bullshit. The man I'm talking about is a man with a vision just off-kilter enough to make sense to the young people of America.

His name is Hunter S. Thompson. And he called this, "The Great American Slide." Everything will get worse until we are prisoners of our own country. Nothing will make sense, and we'll spend our days wondering where we lost our freedom. It will be the most ironic turn of events in history. We fled from Britain to escape the tyranny, only to settle here and create our own.

But you people don't read this site for it's witty political satire, or it's thought-provoking ideals, do you? Nah... This websites popularity was built on me revealing embarassing things about myself. Well try this on for size:

While I was writing this, I thought I had to fart really bad, and I ended up shitting my pants. Pretty embarassing, huh?

I'm going to end this with a Hunter S. Thompson quote about a simpler and maybe better time:

"Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a main era---the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. And that, I think, was the handle---that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting---on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark---the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back..."