Well... I probably shouldn't keep talking about this, because it's only going to get me even more upset. But the war thing... yeah.... It's just pretty stupid. And I'm glad to know that somebody partially agrees with me. I got a letter from a man the other day. His name is George Clinton. You know? Parliament Funkadelic? Well anyway... George sent me this letter, and I think he says something that we all have had on our minds the past few days. I'll leave the rest of the talking to George.

"Dear Funky Bitches at FT,

I feel your pain over this war, baby. We got it all wrong. We don't need to be bombin' Iraq to get our point across. We built this city solely on one thing: Funkadagroovaliciosity. And if we can't bring ourselves back to the reign of Funkdagroovalicosity Economics, then we be funked, baby.

Now you might be asking yo' self, "Self, what in the funk is Funkdagroovalicosity Economics?" I would have to reply with this: Funkdagroovalicosity Economics is a funkalicious experimental economic plan that I have been developing over the past few years with some colleagues of mine.

You see, with Funkdagroovalicosity Economics, we don't believe in rich or poor, black and white, Catholic or Buddhist, Bud Light and Coors Light. Naw baby... with Funkdagroovalicosity Economics, you's either funky, or you's ain't. And if you ain't funky, then you best be gettin' the funk out of our motherfunkin' country!! BECAUSE WE AIN'T HAVING THAT SHIT AROUND HERE! YA' DIG?!!?

Free your mind and your ass will follow. Indeed, indeed.

I say instead of dropping bombs on Iraq, we drop "Da' Bomb" on Iraq. Know what I'm sayin? Knowledge is power. That don't really have anything to do with what I'm saying, but I felt it had to be say'd. Knowledge is power, bitch.

And W. ain't the only problem we got, baby. We got a whole cabinet full of un-funky people driving this mofo into the funkin' ground.

You see... It takes one man to funk up the world for a day, baby. But it takes a whole group of men to funk it up for good. And I ain't talkin' about the good funk neither. I'm talkin' about the stanky, nasty-ass funk that be comin' off yo' feet after you get water in your shoes on that White Water Canyon ride at Kings Island, and you been walking around with you feets all squashy, and then at the end of the day you finally take yo' shoes off, and next thing you know, birds be droppin' out of the sky and shit.

Yeah. That kind of funky.

So I think a step towards Funkdagroovalicosity Economics is a good step. And a true step. And a funky step.

And anybody who says otherwise... well... heh... they can go funk themselves.

Peace."

I think that man could just be the answer to all of our problems. I have to go wipe away my tears now.

Or is that funk in my eyes?

Note: George Clinton did not really write this letter. He is, however, one funky individual, and would make Saddam Hussein feel the funk so hard that his nutsack would unwrinkle and his mustache would fall off.

Now that's funky.