We here at Fucktitles like think of ourselves as a sanctioned safe-house for original thought and expression of said thoughts.

Never will we bow to the coporate hellhounds who seem to run our lives these days. Never will compromise our integrity, just to make a quick buck. Never will we stab our loyal readers in the back, just so we can gain a profit for ourselves.

Now with that said, here's an ad from our latest sponsor:

Hi, I'm Troy Johnson. Many people have never heard of me, so I'd like to take a little time to tell you about me.

I run Johnson's Meat Factory. I started off early as a meat packer. Usually after I tell people this, I tell them (After they've stopped laughing) that my meat is well-known world wide. Most people have seen my meat, even tasted it. Hell, somebody you know may have had my meat inside of them. My meat gets around.

People are always concerned with the way my meat is handled though. Well, I'm here to tell you that my meat is always handled with love and care. Any person caught manhandling of my meat, and you can guarantee that they are going to be getting their ass reamed by me personally. I'll give them a mouthful, by God.

Because I believe that my meat can unite people. My meat has the power to make somebody laugh, or even possibly cry. Good times have been shared over my meet... But bad times as well. That's why I hope that when you think of my meat, you only have to reflect on the good times.

Did I mention that children love my meat too? Oh, do they ever. Children are always writing me letters, thanking me for letting them put my meat inside of them. But I should warn you, don't put too much of my meat inside of them, seeing how it could cause intestinal problems, and possibly even rectal bleeding.

In conclusion, I'd say that we here are old fashioned people. We believe in one man, one meat. My meat is completely homegrown. There aren't any funny additives here. Just 100% Grade A meat. And I would never use a side distributor. That's just dishonest to all of the people who are fans of my meat. So don't worry, nobody's going to be slipping me their meat any time soon.

So come on down and take a look at my meat. I think it's an experience that should be shared with you and yours alike.

Johnson's Meat Factory. You can't beat... my meat.